End of the Year Checkup

https://blogs.thegospelcoalition.org/kevindeyoung/2016/12/20/an-end-of-year-marriage-check-up/

Hedges of Protection Around Your Marriage

"No marriage is immune from temptation. Hedges are advance decisions we made to protect our marriage.They keep temptation at bay, stop naïveté, and keep the marriage relationship a top priority. Here are some specific hedges to plant around your marriage"......

http://www.growthtrac.com/20-hedges-around-marriage/

3 Boundaries You Absolutely Need in Your Marriage

"Healthy boundaries will protect you from overextending yourself in life. They will also protect the health of your marriage when they’re clearly defined.".....

https://fiercemarriage.com/3-boundaries-absolutely-need-marriage

There are No Guarantees

"I think as humans we tend to grasp for guarantees!  We like things that feel concrete and definite. Especially when we have invested or are considering investing in something or someone. Marriage is no different".....

http://www.onefleshmarriage.com/2016/04/no-guarantees-in-marriage.html

10 Habits of an Emotionally Healthy Couple

"I teach pastors that a church cannot grow beyond the emotional health of its pastor, and I believe the same is true for a marriage: Your relationship with your spouse will never exceed your individual emotional health.".....

https://marriagetoday.com/marriagehelp/ten-abilities-of-emotionally-healthy-people/

You Don't Have to Argue Like Your Parents Did

"Because we have imperfect parents, not only do we have to deal with their issues but we also inherit many of them. Not a few families deal with their issues by yelling and screaming at each other, and then they feel better for a while until the next altercation. Or, some shut down and seethe in anger until it works out of their system, but they avoid ever talking about the conflict."......

https://loveandrespect.com/blog/you-are-not-predestined-to-argue-the-same-way-your-parents-did/

On Facebook? Make sure to protect your marriage!

"Facebook forces users to make choices the entire time they’re logged into the site. Will you update your status or not? Should you comment on a FB Friend’s posted picture or not? Do you want to accept a Friend Request or not? Unfortunately, without too much thought, some choices can have a devastating impact to the most important people in our lives.".....

http://familymatters.net/blog/2015/08/18/five-s-m-a-r-t-choices-to-protect-your-marriage-on-facebook/

In a time of trial in your marriage? This prayer may help.

"The following prayer is for anyone going through deep waters in his or her marriage and needing God’s sustaining love and help".....

https://loveandrespect.com/blog/in-a-time-of-trial-this-prayer-may-help/

Marriage is Not About Me

"But a few years into marriage, I began to question again whether it was truly a gift. Aren’t gifts supposed to make you feel good? There is typically pleasure and happiness in giving and receiving gifts.".....

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/marriage-is-not-about-me

How Your Marriage Can Beat the 7-Year Itch

"According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a divorce occurs in the U.S. every 36 seconds. The average age of couples when they divorce is 30 years old, but a 2015 study by the University of Utah states that after the age of 32 the likelihood of divorce goes up 5 percent per year. Today, in an apparent reaction to high divorce rates, Americans are getting married later than ever, with only 28 percent of Millennials age 28-33 strolling down the aisle. But is waiting to marry the key to happily ever after?"....

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/how-your-marriage-can-beat-7-year-itch

7 Everyday Ways to Romance Your Wife

By: Kris Dolberry– Marriage is one of God’s greatest blessings. No one dreams of having an unhappy marriage full of unmet expectations, disappointment, and frustration. We all dream of a good marriage that brings us joy and God glory. That kind of marriage takes work. Hard work! It is not something you find. It’s something you make......

http://blog.lifeway.com/leadingmen/2016/11/17/7-everyday-ways-to-romance-your-wife/?adbsc=social_20161205_68499456&adbid=805829096001314816&adbpl=tw&adbpr=250314657#.WEWm5rIrLIV

Got Thorns in Your Marriage?

"Although the marriage relationship is one of the most rewarding relationships we can enjoy, it also can be one of the most challenging. No other relationship requires such an intense level of emotion, communication, patience, passion...the marriage partnership sets itself up to be one of the most testing, trying, or even exhausting engagements in life.".......

http://www.growthtrac.com/got-thorns-your-marriage/

Emotional Needs

What Are My Needs? What Are His?

"Read through the following brief descriptions of common needs. At the end, add any other needs that matter to you. Then prioritize your list. You might ask your husband to do this same exercise. Or try putting yourself in his shoes and jot down how you think he might respond.".......

http://www.growthtrac.com/emotional-needs/

10 Biblical Essentials for Marriage

http://www.growthtrac.com/10-biblical-essentials-for-a-great-marriage/

How to Defuse a Big Fight

"You’re in the heat of battle. Your spouse has morphed into a nearly unrecognizable person, and you’re running defense in the worst way possible. What started out as a small disagreement has exploded into a full-scale BIG FIGHT."......

http://www.symbisassessment.com/blog/defuse-big-fight/?mc_cid=3d27c80db5&mc_eid=82de7e3bbf

Feed Your Marriage

"Many of us (at least in the U.S.) are making all sorts of plans about how to feed ourselves and our family on Thanksgiving Day. Let’s pause to consider how we can feed our marriage. But first, let me set this up."......

http://www.garythomas.com/feed-your-marriage/

Marriage, Money, and Secrets

"I can't figure out where all the money is going, and he refuses to tell me or keep records to show me where the spending is going. Why can't he just tell me?".....

http://www.daveramsey.com/blog/marriage-money-and-secrets

Forgiving Your Spouse After Adultery

Every week I receive e-mails from women who ask many questions about getting through infidelity in their marriage. Of all the questions I am asked, one of the most common is, “How did you learn to trust him again?”.......

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/troubled-marriage/infidelity/forgiving-your-spouse-after-adultery

5 Prayers to Pray for Your Husband

"Here are 5 prayers you can pray for your husband"......

http://ftc.co/resource-library/blog-entries/5-prayers-to-pray-for-your-husband

How Can a Husband Best Lead His Wife?

"A few days ago, a friend asked me this question: 'When you think of a spiritual leader in the home, paint me a picture of what that would look like?'”.....

http://www.scottkedersha.com/spiritual-leadership-part2/

7 Ways a Husband Wounds a Wife

"Most husbands I know would never injure their wife knowingly. They want to be her protector. But we guys are different than women, and the way we respond to our wife often causes injury. And, most of the time, it’s unintentional. We didn’t even know we were doing it. When we don’t realize the damage we’re doing to our wives’ emotions, we invalidate every desire we have to be her defender.".....

http://www.growthtrac.com/7-ways-a-husband-wounds-a-wife/

Date Night Questions for November

Business Travel Plan for Avoiding Sexual Temptation

(Taken from www.ibcd.org)

Business Travel Plan for Avoiding Sexual Temptation
· Begin praying for purity days before the trip.

· If possible do not ride in a car alone with someone of the opposite sex.

· Do not confide in someone of the opposite sex about any struggles in your marriage, nor listen to someone else tell you about their own struggles in their marriage.

· When traveling, avoid the newsstand; bring your own magazine or newspaper.

· Avoid staying in hotels with in room porn / adult movies. (or ask that those channels be turned off)

· If possible, make reservations in hotels with a workout room.

· As soon as you enter the room pray Psalm 101 and commit your stay to God; repeat every morning.

· Bring and set out a picture of your spouse and children.

· Exercise every day.

· Call your spouse every evening.

· Ask your spouse to pray for you before you leave and during your stay.

· Maintain a routine. Discipline yourself to get up early each morning. Don’t just lie in bed.

· Have a time with the Lord (Bible reading and prayer) every day for at least 10 minutes.

· If possible, go to bed by 11:30 p.m. at the latest.

· Bring at least one interesting book to read, both business related and personal related.

· If back at hotel prior to dinner, get a meal at a restaurant or take out. May watch TV only while eating, then work, read, or exercise till bedtime.

· If back at hotel after dinner do work till finished.

· Ask spouse to specifically ask you as to whether you followed your plan and avoided sin. Have them specifically ask you if you failed in any area, and have them ask if you lied.

· Meet only in public places if absolutely necessary to meet with someone of the opposite sex.

The Key to a Strong Marriage

"Every marriage is under attack. Marriage is given to humanity by God as, ultimately, an expression and picture of his love for his people. Satan, the anti-aesthete and anti-tutor, wants to tear this living image down"......

http://ftc.co/blog/posts/the-key-to-a-strong-marriage

Demands and Threats Will Kill Your Marriage

"I hear it all the time–couples giving each other various demands with the threat of no sex, the withdrawal of money, separation or even divorce. Friends, I’ve never seen this work out well. It only leads to pride and resentment, and both parties lose. Here’s why…"

http://sixseeds.patheos.com/ashleywillis/3-reasons-why-demands-and-threats-are-killing-your-marriage/

A Practical Example of How to Measure Marital Grit

http://www.scottkedersha.com/grit3/

Rebuilding Broken Trust

"When trust has been damaged or destroyed in a marriage, the rebuilding process takes a huge amount of patience, skill, and–above all–time. After your very foundation has been shaken, restoring trust in your marriage is literally a relationship makeover."......

http://www.symbisassessment.com/blog/broken-trust-heres-rebuild/?mc_cid=4a8d43341e&mc_eid=82de7e3bbf

5 Ways to Develop Grit in Your Marriage (Part 2)

http://www.scottkedersha.com/grit2/

Infidelity Doesn't Just Happen

"Here are most important nonverbal communication channels and red flags you should be aware of"......

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/infidelity-doesnt-just-happen-it-starts-these-subtle-warnings

5 Ways to Develop Grit in Your Marriage

"Grit can be defined as the power of passion and perseverance. It’s a never give-up attitude. Grit is the Little Engine That Could who says, “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can!” Grit realizes there are no shortcuts to excellence and one of the secrets is long-term tenacity. Grit knows that enthusiasm is common, but endurance is rare.".....

http://www.scottkedersha.com/grit/

Love for a Flawed Person

"You and I just don’t get to be married to someone perfect. It seems obvious enough, but many people get married with unrealistic expectations about who they’re marrying. Here’s the point: you both bring something into your marriage that’s destructive to what a marriage needs and must do. That thing is called sin.".....

http://www.authenticmanhood.com/love-for-a-flawed-person/

To the Spouse Who's "Checked Out" of the Marriage

"You tell yourself there is no hope for the marriage. You tell yourself that you are out of options. Out of love. Out of trust. You can’t bear to even look your spouse in the eyes anymore, because you’ve checked out. It’s over…or, at least, you’ve resigned yourself to that thought.".....

http://sixseeds.patheos.com/ashleywillis/to-the-spouse-whos-checked-out-of-the-marriage/

Date Night Questions

Our church (First Baptist Church Allen) hosted a "DATE NIGHT" this past weekend.  Here are the questions we handed out to couples to discuss on their date:

Starting off easy
1. Share a highlight from the week.
2. Give at least 3 things you are thankful for about your spouse/marriage.
3. What's something fun you would like to do that you two haven't done in a while?

Digging a little deeper
1. What is something you take for granted in your marriage?
2. Where are you making "war" in your marriage right now?  Is that a battle you should be fighting?
3. Do you feel like you make your marriage the top priority?  If not, why?

Next level
1. From the list of the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control--Galatians 5:22-23), where do you think you are strong and where do you think you struggle?  Then ask your spouse for their opinion on your answer.
2. In your marriage, where do you think you are more committed to the "kingdom of self"? Then ask your spouse for their opinion on your answer.
3. How will focusing more on the "Kingdom of God" help your marriage? Be specific.

Your Marriage Isn't Hopeless

"I don’t know about your experience with marriage, but there is one thing I know: regardless of who you are, where you live, or whom you’re married to, your marriage has hope.".....

http://www.authenticmanhood.com/your-marriage-isnt-hopeless/

Keys to Unlock Great Communication

"When you ask any couple what the key to a successful marriage is, they’ll likely include “great communication” in their list. But when we’ve asked couples what “good communication” is, we’ve gotten a lot of foggy answers."......

http://www.symbisassessment.com/blog/keys-unlocking-great-communication/?mc_cid=20026eafdc&mc_eid=82de7e3bbf

What Foxes Are Ruining Your Fun?

"In Song of Solomon 2:15, the writer says, “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom,” (ESV). Foxes are pests that wreak havoc in vineyards – they eat grapes, dig holes and trample vines in search of their prey. They have no regard for the vulnerability of the vines and grapes, only for their selfish appetites. Seemingly harmless and typically only 15 inches tall, they dig holes and passages that loosen the soil around vines, preventing a stable root system.

The foxes represent some deterrents that threaten to spoil their relationship between the man and woman from the Song of Solomon; the small problems that gnaw at the roots of love. If we desire to have fun and pursue each other well in marriage, we need to catch the foxes that spoil the vineyards.".....

Part 1: http://www.scottkedersha.com/foxes1/

Part 2: http://www.scottkedersha.com/foxes2/

You Need What You Don't Want

"Ruts are comfortable, but limiting. They stifle personal and spiritual growth. Marriage sometimes forces us out of those ruts so that we are invited to grow in areas in which we may not want to grow, but in which God is eager for us to grow"......

http://www.garythomas.com/need-dont-want/

5 Ways You May be Destroying Your Marriage

Many times couples are destroying their marriage – and, most times, it’s not intentional and they didn’t even know it was occurring. So, let me address this to those who may be in a season – or an upcoming season – where a good marriage is in jeopardy. (Satan loves those seasons.).....

http://www.ronedmondson.com/2016/07/5-ways-a-once-good-marriage-slips-away-or-falls-apart.html

It's Not Flashy but It Matters

“Faithful” isn’t the most exciting of words. It’s kind of boring. You won’t read of a Nicholas Sparks’ hero telling his girlfriend, “I just want to be faithful to you my entire life.”....

http://www.garythomas.com/somethingjesuswillneversay/

Tech-savvy Tips to Grow Your Marriage

http://www.growthtrac.com/tech-savvy-tips-to-grow-your-marriage/

Trophy Children

Not a marriage post but a great read for ALL parents from Paul Tripp.

http://www.paultripp.com/ViewMail.aspx?p=2c2gFF17811602c2gFFa2&mmid=Fh49Gg49481Fh49Gg05

10 Books to Read with Your Fiance

http://www.joshuastraub.com/2016/10/05/10-helpful-books-read-fiance-wedding-day/

It All Boils Down to These 2 Things

This is a lengthy article but well worth the read....

http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11?utm_content=bufferdc881&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Angry at Your Spouse?

"All married couples experience anger. The tragedy is that thousands of couples never learn how to process anger productively. Marriage becomes a battlefield, each spouse accusing the other of firing the first shot. If a couple do not learn to properly handle their anger, they will never have a satisfying marriage.".....

http://www.growthtrac.com/angry-at-your-spouse/

5 Ways to Guard Your Life from Temptation

"We all struggle with temptation. Every single one of us. Some of us struggle with food, some with alcohol. Some of us crave the praise of man, and others struggle with the temptation to shop for stuff we think will make us happy. Others wrestle with telling the truth. Some of us are lucky enough to struggle with all of the above.".....

http://www.scottkedersha.com/guard/

The Seed of Divorce

"In every marriage is an issue, a belief, a habit, a heart idolatry—indeed, many of them—that can lead easily and naturally to the complete destruction of the union"....

http://www.challies.com/christian-living/the-seed-of-divorce

Divorce-Proof Your Marriage Before You Get Engaged

"Nobody enters marriage expecting it to end in divorce. Yet, if statistics hold true, this is what happens to about half of all couples in their first marriage. However, there are a few steps you can take that will help you divorce-proof your marriage, even prior to getting engaged.".....

http://www.joshuastraub.com/2016/09/28/4-steps-divorce-proof-marriage-even-get-engaged/

Your marriage needs a "kid-free" adventure

"If you and your spouse have children, you know that parenthood is an all-consuming role–especially when the kids are young. Daily routines trump adventure most days, and you find yourself longing for a little time alone together. You might feel a little guilty at the thought of taking a kid-free adventure together, but trust us–it’s healthy for your marriage, for the two of you as individuals, and for your kids, too!"....

http://www.symbisassessment.com/blog/kid-free-adventure-together/?mc_cid=6fd5662448&mc_eid=82de7e3bbf

Marriage on the Edge of Eternity

"Eternity changes how we enjoy marriage and everything else in this life. Eternity changes how we love. It would be unloving to get my wife and kids so focused on this life that they are unprepared for the next.".....

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/marriage-on-the-edge-of-eternity

Me, My Anger & My Marriage

“Over the past few years, it seems like your default response to things, (situations, relationships, etc.) that you don’t like or feel uncomfortable with, is anger. You know there are other ways you can respond?”....

http://fiercemarriage.com/me-my-anger-my-marriage