Always Suspicious of Your Spouse? Nix the Negativity (Part 1)

"This is Part 1 of a three-part series to help us nix the negative patterns that may be damaging our relationships. This week focuses on the solution for an often-subconscious mindset of suspicion. Next week – Thanksgiving week – we’ll look at how to practice gratitude over grumbling. The final week … well, stay tuned. The last one is pretty convicting for almost everyone".....

Nix the Negativity

Social Media & Marriage: 5 Essential Tips

"It begs the question: what impact has it had on marriages and relationships? While there are probably a few positives, one could argue that the effects skew pretty negative. The good news, of course, is that you can avoid this outcome. Here are five essential tips to ensure that social media doesn’t harm your marriage".....

Social Media and Marriage

Choose Love Over Fear

 

"In the realm of relationships, our choices and actions can be driven by two fundamental emotions: love or fear. While fear may seem like a natural response to protect ourselves, operating from a place of love can have a transformative impact on our relationships".....

Article: Choose Love Over Fear

7 Steps to Keep Defensiveness from Ruining Our Relationships

"a two-part series on how to notice and address defensiveness in yourself, to both have better mental health individually and much more peace and productivity in your personal and professional relationships".....

Part 1

Part 2

The Do's and Don'ts of Disappointment

 

"Disappointment is pretty much a part of life. Maybe you’re disappointed in a movie you had high hopes for or in the way your homemade cheesecake turned out. You might feel displeased for a short period of time, but it’s nothing you’ll lose sleep over. Other times, disappointment can run deeper, such as when someone you love – like your spouse – lets you down in a way that feels significant and personal. In these situations, you may not get over it so quickly. So what should you do?".....

https://www.prepare-enrich.com/blog/the-dos-and-donts-of-disappointment/

10 Loving Ways to Surprise Each Other

"Not everyone loves surprises. If this sounds like you or your spouse, you might cringe at the thought of surprising each other. But before you stop reading, let us clarify. Surprises don’t have to come in the form of an over-the-top surprise party with every person you know in attendance (the horror!) They can actually be relatively small, simple ways to show love and appreciation or boost your level of connection. Here are 10 ideas to get your gears turning".....

https://www.prepare-enrich.com/blog/10-loving-ways-to-surprise-each-other/

5 Easy Ways to Resolve an Argument

 

I’ve learned that conflict resolution doesn’t need to be complicated. The harder I try to make it, the harder it becomes to solve. Though it takes years to practice, here are 5 easy ways to resolve an argument with your spouse

https://www.markmerrill.com/how-to-resolve-an-argument/

5 Things that Undermine an Apology

"The fact of the matter is, a meaningful apology is more than just uttering the words, “I’m sorry.” Here are five things that can undermine an apology".....

https://www.prepare-enrich.com/blog/5-things-that-undermine-an-apology/

The Saver-Spender Disconnect in Marriage

 

"In most marriages one spouse is more of a 'saver' and one is more of a 'spender.' Even when both partners are savers, one of them is usually simply more comfortable with spending than the other. And to make things more interesting, the savers are also usually more oriented around planning and structure, where the spenders often value having a bit more flexibility".....

https://shaunti.com/2023/08/the-saver-spender-disconnect-in-marriage-and-how-to-handle-it/

The Downside of Comparison (and what to do instead)

 

"Oh look, one of your favorite couples that you follow on social media just went on (another) amazing vacation. They look so happy! They must be doing something right. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Ah, and there’s an old classmate gushing for paragraphs about their spouse… Should I be doing that? Should my spouse be doing that? Hmm, when was the last time we went on a romantic vacation or gushed about each other like that? Is our marriage going stale? Are we doing something wrong?".....

https://www.prepare-enrich.com/blog/the-downside-of-comparison-what-to-do-instead/

How to Get Your Marriage Out of a Rut

"Is your marriage in a rut? It’s common for married couples to go through seasons where they feel out of sync with each other. Once you’ve found yourself in this place, it can be too easy to assume that you’re going to stay stuck. Luckily, there’s hope for getting back into a happier, healthier relationship".....

https://www.symbis.com/blog/how-to-get-your-marriage-out-of-a-rut/

Submission Doesn't Mean Being a Doormat

Article written by Leslie Vernick www.leslievernick.com 

As Christian women, we may feel trapped in relationships where our needs, desires, and even our safety are not being respected or valued. We may have been taught that submission to our husbands is our primary responsibility, even if it means sacrificing our own well-being and that of our children. But is this really what God intends for us?

Let’s start by acknowledging that marriage can be challenging even under the best of circumstances. It requires sacrifice, compromise, and hard work from both partners. However, when a marriage becomes destructive, it’s essential to seek help and support. This can be especially difficult for Christian women who may feel ashamed or guilty for not being able to make their marriages work.

The Bible never says that submission is only a wife’s responsibility, nor does it give husbands the final say in all decisions. This has been misunderstood and misinterpreted, causing harm to men, women, and children and thwarting God’s plan for loving family relationships. We must reject any teaching that condones abusive or controlling behavior and instead seek God’s truth on the matter.

As wives, we are called to be our husband’s helpmates, but this goes beyond mere submission. Our role is to encourage and support our spouses to grow and mature in their relationship with God and to love them as Christ loved the Church. This means you may have to confront sin, implement boundaries, and, yes, consequences…for his good. We must also learn to love ourselves and our children enough to protect them from harm.

Biblical headship is not about wielding power or demanding obedience. Jesus demonstrated headship through sacrificial servanthood, modeling humility, compassion, and love. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, giving themselves up for her. This means that husbands should initiate and model servanthood, showing the way and going first in putting the needs of their family above their own.

Likewise, biblical submission is not about being a doormat or allowing yourself to be mistreated. Submission cannot be forced or coerced but must come from a heart that desires to please God and serve others.

If you find yourself in a destructive marriage, it may be difficult to imagine a way out. You may feel trapped and hopeless. But please know that God is with you, and He desires for you to be safe and whole. He sees your pain and your struggles, and He truly cares. God loves you and values your safety and sanity. 

Courtroom Brain: Is Your Spouse on Trial?

"So how do you exit Courtroom Brain? Remember, this is in your own head. Whatever your partner did, they are not responsible for what’s going on in your head. Again, taking care of yourself is NOT the same thing as attacking your partner. Only you can challenge your unfair judgments".....

https://www.gottman.com/blog/courtroom-brain-is-your-partner-on-trial/

11 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Healthy While Caregiving

"It only makes sense that this strain can take a serious toll on caregivers’ relationships with their significant others. Understanding the impact this role has on you and your spouse is the first step in ensuring your marriage remains a top priority even in the most challenging of times".....

https://www.ameridisability.com/11-ways-to-keep-your-marriage-healthy-while-caregiving/

4 Priorities for Busy Couples

"When you’re extra busy, you’re spending less time together, making it easier for distance and complacency to take root. While your level of closeness will ebb and flow throughout the course of your marriage, you can prevent a bigger problem from developing by prioritizing these four things when things get extra busy".....

https://www.prepare-enrich.com/blog/4-priorities-for-busy-couples/

Seriously. What’s the Point of Marriage?

"Honestly, sustained and immutable happiness is arguably the most ineffective goal you could set for your relationship because it’s not possible to achieve. The reality of happiness, just like any other emotion, is that it comes and goes, just like the in-laws during the holidays, 80’s fashion, or stomach cramps. Well, today it’s time to bust out another cold, hard truth: The point of marriage is not happiness. The point of marriage is growth".....

https://www.gottman.com/blog/seriously-whats-point-marriage-growth/

7 Bad Ways to Fight with Your Spouse

"You’re fighting with your spouse, and as it gets more intense, you wonder how you got there. Sometimes it’s because we say the wrong thing. Other times, our approach, tactics, or habits are the problem. I’ve noticed a parallel between the way certain animals behave and unhealthy argument styles. Are you behaving like these animals when you argue? Here are 7 bad ways to face a fight with your spouse".....

http://www.markmerrill.com/7-bad-ways-fighting-with-spouse/

Emotional Intimacy: Grasping the Full Spectrum of Feeling

When it comes to emotional intimacy, I’ve found myself similarly limited, struggling to identify and understand my emotions. When my wife asks, “How are you feeling?” I almost never reply with an actual emotion word. My sentence might start with “I feel” but usually end with “…like taking a nap,” “…like eating Taco Bell,” or “…like punching the wall.” Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride would tell me, “You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”.....

https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/communication/emotional-intimacy-grasping-the-full-spectrum-of-feeling/

More Money Won’t Help Your Marriage – But These Habits Will

"Those 'if . . . then' thoughts are so tempting. After all, they allow us to blame the lack of money (or one another) rather than looking too closely at ourselves. They also suggest such an easy solution: just a few more dollars, and poof! Our marital problems are solved!".....

https://shaunti.com/2023/02/more-money-wont-help-your-marriage-but-these-habits-will/

4 Key Patterns that Destroy Oneness in Marriage

Research shows that the presence of certain negative patterns can destroy oneness in marriage. In other words, just a few negatives in marriage can wear away dozens of positives.

http://www.markmerrill.com/4-key-patterns-that-destroy-oneness-in-marriage/

5 Things to Do When Your Marriage Feels Boring

"Sadly, feeling bored can lead a marriage down a dark path of arguments, bad decisions, and even divorce. It’s up to you to see the signs, take action, and make things more exciting. Here are 5 things to do when your marriage feels boring".....

Link to Article

I Feel Dismissed in My Marriage

Sometimes, married couples become so busy that one or both spouses may start to feel dismissed, unheard, or invisible. This can happen for many reasons. Most often, we become so busy with our lives and routines that we simply forget to slow down.

Link to Article

Marriage is More Than Checking a Box on Your To-Do List

We’re around each other plenty more hours but together is a different story. Being in the same house does not necessarily constitute together. Neither does sitting next to each other watching a movie. Driving in the car while I answer email on my phone? Again, not together. The key word here is together, which isn’t just proximity; it’s presence and focus.

Link to article

How to Give Your Marriage a Fresh Start in the New Year

 


"You can commit to renewing your love any time of year. But, the New Year is a great time to reflect on the recent past and set new priorities and goals for the future. If you want a fresh start in your marriage, this is the perfect time to set yourselves up for success".....

https://www.symbis.com/blog/how-to-give-your-marriage-a-fresh-start-in-the-new-year/